I got an idea!

So the other day I went to Wal Mart with Alaina and Ryker. I didn't have much to get and I didn't have anything else to do that day, so we took a spin through the toy section. We meandered through, taking our time and playing with the toys. I let Ryker touch anything he wanted and take all the time he wanted. We played for at least 30 minutes, but at some point, I was over it. So I gave Ryker a two-minute heads-up that we would be moving on. After two minutes I called to him and told him to come on. He ignored me. I didn't want to spoil our good time, so I employed some less than exemplary parenting tactics and I stood tight where I was and continued to call his name every couple seconds while he continued to pretend he couldn't hear me. Eventually, I said in an excited tone, "Hey, Ryker, come look at this!" That did it. So we looked at whatever arbitrary thing I'd been standing next to for a second and went on our way. You'd think that after being SUCH a nice mommy to let my boy play for SO long with the toys that I'd get somthing in return, right? WRONG! I said, "Let's go get dog food and then we'll go." Ryker's response: "Nooooooo. I don't want to get dog fooooooood. I hate getting dog foooooood. Waaaaaa." (No, seriously, he's been actually saying waaaaa lately!) Well, we headed that way anyway and when we got there I let go of the cart to grab the bag and Ryker promptly started slamming the cart into the shelves! So I grabbed the cart to prevent that, but he was still pushing and fighting me with the cart. Well, I certainly can't maneuver a 50 pound bag of dog food into the cart with one hand while keeping Ryker from slamming it into things with the other. All children instinctively understand these sorts of things and know just what to do to make it utterly impossible for parents to get the job done. So I had to figure out what to do with Ryker first. This sort of behavior has been typical of Ryker while shopping lately and I decided recently that I need to recommit myself to teaching him and put shopping and my busy schedule on a back burner until we get this behavior issue under control. So I decided that he needed a time out. However, trying to get a 4-year-old to take a time out at a store where he knows you really have much less leverage than you do at home is a bit of a nightmare. So I sat on him. Okay, not really. Well, sort of. I sat next to him on the ground and pinned him to the ground with my legs. Child abuse, you say? Oh no. What was happening at the store that day was parent abuse and it's about time people realize just how real this type of abuse is! This is mostly for my own protection against him hitting or kicking me, but also to prevent him from running away (kids also know that running away from you when there are more than one of them for you to take care of is a great way to get Mom's goat). So we sat. He cried and squirmed and fussed. I asked him if he was ready to help our family run smooth and he said no. So we continued to sit. An employee came by and saw Alaina's cute, happy, angelic little self sitting in the cart and started talking to her and telling her how cute she was. Then she saw me and Ryker on the floor and gave me a quizzical look. I said, "We're taking a time out." A look of understanding replaced the quizzical one and she continued her work. When Ryker decided he was ready to help our family run smooth, I let him up and the employee told him she hoped he had a better day from now on. The rest of the way to the check out stand, Ryker complained about how looooong it had taken to get dog food. Gee, I wonder why?

So my great idea is this: the next time Ryker causes trouble in the store (and trust me, it will happen again), we will be heading to the car seat isle. I can't wait to see the look on the employee's faces when I strap my trouble-making child into one of their display seats to serve his time out! I mean, it's the law that my child ride in a car seat, right? And I want to be darn sure he can't get out of it by himself because that could be dangerous! So I have to test it before I buy it. And this way, I can't get in trouble for sitting on my child. I'll just let him sit on a shelf at the store strapped into a car seat until he stops thrashing and flailing and is ready to help our family run smooth. Sounds like a lot less of a struggle for me!